Its not my fault!

Whew! I’m so glad to have found out that, just as I suspected, it wasn’t my fault for being overweight. No, my body size and weight were not my responsibility at all, according to the latest theory. Because, as this new thinking goes, we are seduced into overeating and obesity by the presence of refined sugar in our food, which causes us to become addicted. Our brain chemistry is thereby altered and we become lifelong slaves to food, powerless to overcome impulses which we are programmed to follow. Yeah. Right. Okay, now I am one of the biggest proponents of the idea that sugar can be addictive and that it affects our brain and body chemistry. I do realize that marketers and agri-businesses are clued into making and selling foods that we find irresistible. I also understand that they capture us at an early age with cereals and sweetened, candy-like foods of all kinds. But no matter how twisted and malevolent all of that may be, I simply refuse to give over all my power to the mighty sugar molecule, throwing up my hands in despair and diving into the chocovat. And this is because I believe that human beings have evolved with a higher level of consciousness. This awareness makes us capable of looking past the mere matter of the moment and predicting the future consequences of current actions. Put more simply: we can learn. I’ll even go a little farther out on a limb and say that I believe that what makes human beings unique is not that we are subject to base instincts and hungers, but rather that we have the ability to actually counteract those forces. From an early age, we learn that one way (and usually the BEST way) to get something we want is to alter our interactions with the people and environment around us. A child might grab a toy of the shelf of the store and say “mine mine mine” but soon enough that child will learn (with guidance) that not everything can be had for the asking. So, yes, I find refined sugar to be alluring. Its every bit as appealing and seductive today while I’m maintaining at my goal as it was for me when I was at my highest weight. The junky foods and junky advertising everywhere all around me definitely cause me to desire sugar-y foods, and I’m not immune from falling prey to those forces. But I have learned something. That if I can leave that toy on the shelf – even just for a little while, I tend to be a lot happier in the long run. Oh yeah, and its not about ‘blame’ or ‘fault’ or ‘culpability.’ Its about evaluating the situation and effecting a change. Darn!

Weighing In

Among my circle of friends in weight management, we have some different views as to the optimal frequency of checking in with the scale. Some people would say that a weekly weigh in is the best because it gives you long-term trend information, which is what truly counts. They worry that daily weighing would lead them to seeing frequent ups and downs and trying to associate them (rightly or wrongly) with particular eating occasions or activity levels. That can lead to a fruitless quest for ‘stability’ which is at best difficult and generally speaking impossible. For others, the daily weigh in provides useful information that keeps them on track. It can help overcome the fear of fluctuations that can occur inexplicably sometimes. Daily weighing can also provide a sense of security and accountability that one might not get from a once-a-week check in. For these people a once weekly check-in might lead to weekend overeating or other last-minute corrective strategies because of the lack of interim information. I’ve tried it both ways and I’m not sure I can advocate for one or the other. They each have pros and cons. Lately I’ve been following a sort of hybrid system. Which is to say that most days I weigh myself in the morning before I go off running, and then once a week I do my official weigh-in and have the number entered into my weight book by a third party. Again, there are pros and cons, but this system has given me the best result for the past two or three months. There have been a few times when my weight went up during the week and it upset me, and a few other times when it went down and I got a little cocky. But generally speaking the hybrid method has given me just the amount of information and accountability I like to have in order to be comfortable. The one cautionary note I would have is that its probably best to never weigh more than once a day. Occasionally people come to me upset that their weight has gone up (or down) X number of pounds since they weighed earlier in the day. This can cause consternation and surprise. And I think it could probably become problematic if one had any tendencies towards obsession (who, me?). At any rate, this week will be interesting, because I haven’t had a chance to weigh in at all, as I’m on the road. (I refuse to use notoriously unreliable health club scales). Since I’m flying home tonight I will be able to do my ‘official’ number tomorrow, which I look forward to. Because in the absence of numerical data, I’ve been forcing myself to use two other maintenance methods, neither of which I find particularly easy. The first is to gauge myself in the mirror and in my clothes to see how I look and feel. After all, my ultimate goal in all of this is to be healthy. The second strategy is to be conscious of not eating when I’m already full. That may sound like a no-brainer, but I’ve never completely mastered the art of ‘stopping when satisfied.’ In fact, several times this week I actually set a timer to give myself a 30 minute break. But change is good, right? Stay tuned!

Out of the frying pan ...

Usually I don’t applaud food not eaten. In my past, I tried so many deprivation-based diets that now I am fanatical about enjoying food and avoiding the celebration of denial. I would rather look in my food journal and smile with satisfaction, than think about all the stuff that tempted me but I avoided. Nevertheless, today I gave myself a huge pat on the back for not eating. You see, this morning (like most mornings) I got back from running, threw some veggies in a pan, and then added some egg whites to make a nice omelette. Unfortunately, since I’m in a hotel, I’m not used to the electric stove, and the frying pan isn’t as good as the one I have at home. So ten minutes later, I ended up with a kind of gross mess of metallic-smelling veggies and only partially cooked egg. At first, in my morning stupor (post run, but pre coffee) I ladled it onto a plate and thought ‘oh gross, I can’t believe I have to eat this mess.’ And then I realized that no one was forcing me to. Sure, it would be a ‘waste’ … but why eat something I didn’t like? So, I poured the entire thing down the disposal, and instead had a veggie sandwich. It was hard to do, since I don’t have a lot of food in the little kitchenette here and the supermarket is kind of a long schlep. But in the end, I was really happy that I respected myself enough and had enough wherewithal to ditch the unpalatable and go for the edible (and tasty!). Those who know me, have heard me say this a million times, but today I was so happy to actually follow my own advice: ‘If you don’t love it, don’t eat it!’

A Walk in the Park

Whenever I'm on a trip to Connecticut, or New Jersey, or (as I am right now) Michigan, I'm always struck by how much more inviting it is to walk in San Francisco (or DC, NYC, London, etc.). Its not just that in most of America things are so spread out (and they really are!). Rather, in more densely populated places, there are simply sidewalks everywhere you want to go. And as you walk, there are invariably things to see or places to visit. I guess its my desire for instant gratification, then, that makes me such a city person. Walking, for me, is terribly convenient. When I was on my last trip and so far on this trip, I keep finding that when I just look at a map to plan where I'd like to run, I almost invariably discover that the particular route I've chosen has no sidewalk, no shoulder, no safe place to stay away from traffic. I keep forgetting that every place is not connected to every other place if you're on foot. For the year that I lived in Silicon Valley, I was extremely frustrated by the contradictory phenomenon of great weather and long, unwalkable distances. It annoyed me so much to have to spend such a great deal of time in my car, because even with the windows down, I always felt so disconnected from the world around me. And since everyone else was encased in their own glass and steel enclosures, it seemed so impersonal, to boot. I therefore have all the more respect for those people who actually carve time out of their days to "go walking" -- even if they live in the country, or in the suburbs, or some other car-oriented location. It takes so much more planning in places like that -- you've got to find routes that are safe and walkable, you might even have to drive there, you probably need good shoes and a music player. Kind of like how it is for me to go running. So for those of you that climb on treadmills, or power walk, or simply get out for a few minutes of intentional fresh air, my hat goes off to you. Not only is it good exercise, its a way to get in touch with your universe. And you are, most definitely, bucking the trend.

Who's at the controls?

So, I’ve been sent to Michigan on a business trip in the middle of August, where its hot and very muggy. Stupidly, I didn’t bring a sweater or jacket. Not that I need it outside, mind you, since it stays warm all day and night. No, I need something to bolster me inside the conference center where –I swear—its gotta be under 65 degrees. Today I was absolutely FREEZING all day long. The only time I warmed up even slightly was during one of the sessions where I managed to position myself directly under a strong overhead light. But the rest of the day I kept shifting around trying to avoid drafts. Now I suppose this doesn’t have much to do with healthy weight management. Perhaps it simply speaks to the fact that people would rather wear more clothes than less clothes. I dunno. As it is, I had to stumble out of the place at 5:30, frozen like a popsicle, driving around in my rental car desperately looking for a clothes store. (And in case you’re wondering, Lansing has a great little Banana Republic store with the nicest staff!) So now I’m two sweaters poorer than at the start of the day. But I needed to be armed for the next two weeks. I’ll also add this -- the fact that I’ve got a nice little kitchenette in my hotel room has really saved the day as far as my mood is concerned. Just having the fridge and the microwave alone would have been worth the price. Today I was able to make an amazing egg-white-and-veggie omelette for breakfast, along with a lo-cal bagel and some non-fat yogurt. For dinner I had a delicious salad, a fruit smoothie and a veggie burger. For this trip, I made a conscious decision that I would “bond” with people over the coffee breaks, but use meal time for myself. There are some things in life we can control, and some things we can’t. But there are, almost always, pretty good workarounds.

Pre-flight check

- Salad (incl. fork and miniature bottle of dressing) - Veggie sandwich on whole wheat with lowfat cheese - 2 baggies w/ 75 calories worth of flat crackers - 1 small baggie of cherries - 1 small banana - 1 liter of water - 1 pack of 100 calorie pretzels - 1 baggie with sugar free mint candy It was a lot to pack and assemble for my four-hour flight to Michigan today, but I duly assembled all the above and brought in onboard in a small tote. While waiting for my flight to be called at the airport, I noticed that almost everyone is buying food now, since they know they won’t be fed on the plane. And while there are some decent choices available, its incredibly cheaper (not to mention healthier) to bring your own. Equally important is the fact that when you’re sitting around with that weird combination of stress, boredom and fatigue that comes with air travel, the temptation to eat some junky comfort food can be a tough one to ignore. As a result, one of my ‘secrets’ is that I re-use the salad and sandwich containers on the return flight – usually stopping at a salad bar somewhere on my way back to the airport to fill them up. Yesterday Richard and I had a long chat over coffee about this and that, and he was explaining to me more of the 'rational recovery' approach to behavior change. What struck me most was the idea that we aren’t victims. This weight management issue, no matter how challenging or frustrating, doesn’t mean we are helpless individuals incapable of change. It just takes work. Its very useful, but NOT enough, to uncover the causes of our overeating. Whether nature or nurture, whether due life changes or the conditioning of society – our food behaviors are not necessarily out of our control. Lately, Devin has been putting on some weight and feeling quite distressed about it. While I offer sympathy and extend an offer to help if he needs it, I can see that for the moment, he’s not ready to take action. So it was the other night he got home late from work and had to rush around and grab his gear for his evening tennis match, with no time to eat anything healthy. (Having arrived home late myself) I had already eaten a prepared salad, and had some pre-cooked chicken and vegetables. I suggested one or two things in the fridge that he could try, but instead he decided to dash off to McDonalds. In the end, however, due to traffic, he didn’t even have time for that. And he lost his match, feeling that his game was somehow ‘off.’ By the time he got home he was angry and upset and feeling quite weak. So as I stood in the kitchen this morning, putting together my little containers of snacks and getting all of my special treats portioned out in careful amounts, I reflected that indeed, I’m not a victim. Its not about poor pitiful me who has to think ahead and strategize about food options every time he needs to spend more than a day away from home. Its simply about deciding what I want, prioritizing, and getting to work. Thanks Richard!